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The Top 5 Misconceptions About Self-Care

Self-Care IS NOT about bath bombs and chocolates!!!

There is a glamorized image out there around self-care that is ingrained in us that looks like a beautiful woman with her hair in a messy bun, sitting in a bathtub, drinking a glass of wine, and letting her worries go down the drain. One where, once she’s out of the tub, she spends her time in retail therapy, going on lavish trips, and living the lush life at the spa. When in reality, that’s all nice, but that has nothing to do with what true self-care entails.

Sure a bath can be a form of self-care, but it can also be a rabbit hole on your phone.

The difference here is the intention behind it.

My personal definition as a Coach of Self-Care is “utilized intention for personal growth”.

A bath where you’re intentionally going into it to let your mind drift or to meditate, to work through a challenge you’re currently facing, or to release something down the drain as you finish, turns an ordinary bath into self-care. It’s been proven that being submerged in water can cleanse your aura, and with an intention behind this action, you’re certainly able to do so.

Or you can scroll.

Get what I’m saying here?

Great! Now that we have a glimpse of what self-care is, let’s break some misconceptions about it while we’re at it! (The last one is my fav!)

1. Self-Care is Expensive

As with our lovely lady above, we know that A LOT of people tend to think self-care is super expensive, which yeah, it can be but just like we saw with our bath example, it doesn’t have to be. Self-care is as affordable as you’d like or need it to be, because it’s truly about the intention behind your action.

Do you like to be active or enjoy walking around your neighborhood? Painting or reading novels? Love a good rom-com or a docuseries? Like to try new foods or go to festivals? Whatever it is that rejuvenates and refuels you as an individual, self-care is doing more of THAT, and the most important thing is that you make time for it. You might think you’re too busy for self-care but if you actually just stop and take better care of yourself, you’ll find that you’re able to live up to your full potential.

If you need some help coming up with ideas, download my free guide for Ballin’ on a Budget: 111 Self-Care Activities Under $25

2. Self-Care is Boring and Cookie-Cutter

First, if you don’t like hanging out with yourself or find it boring, you definitely need some more self-care in your life until you do! You’re an incredible, multi-faceted human being with spectacular talents once you find them and provoking thoughts that need answers. Being by yourself is a way to explore who you really are, get in touch with your desires, and in tune with your best self!

Self-Care is not some cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all formula that once you have that down, your life is magically perfect. It’s a journey, one of exploration within yourself where you get to choose your own adventure. For some, waking up at 5 am every day keeps them on track to being their best selves, for others that couldn’t be further from the truth! It’s all about what fits best for you and once you figure that out, why wouldn’t you want to do more of what serves you?

3. Self-Care is NOT External.

In fact, as mentioned above, it is specific to you as an individual and is 100% internal. A lot of people think that self-care is something you can do outside of yourself to solve your problems like retail therapy or going on expensive vacations and trips. Those things are only temporary bandaids for the issue at hand rather than a long-term fix. It's kind of like understanding that the journey is not about the destination, it's about the lessons you learn and what you experience on the way there.

Speaking of that, this journey is one of building a positive, healthy relationship with yourself that never ends. Your self-care routine will change throughout time, and you’ll be faced with the same challenges until you learn to overcome them so the sooner you understand how to look for the answers within and take aligned action towards it, the better!

4. Self-Care is NOT an Excuse.

Along the same lines of self-care not being external, it’s also not to be used as an excuse. Using self-care as an excuse to get yourself into debt or out of your obligations is part of the reason that it gets a bad rap. You can’t buy happiness with a new bag and it’s hard to be successful when you’re dipping out of your personal and professional responsibilities to drown yourself in Netflix.

Do I believe in mental health days from work and you should never feel guilty about that? HELL YES! 1000%. If you are burnt out from work, you taking a day off of work serves you and your company more than you trying to push through that in that moment. So in that time, take that time for yourself. However, a proper self-care routine would avoid this issue of burnout altogether so don’t use self-care as an excuse to get out of obligations unless it’s a necessity. I truly believe that self-care should be embraced and respected because when done right, you’re getting to the root of an issue or the start of a new chapter. It makes it difficult to do that when it’s seen as lazy when it’s added to a list of excuses on why not to do something you’re responsible for. Feel me?

5. Self-Care is NOT Selfish!

Say it with me: Self-care is NOT selfish. It is not indulgent; it is actually self-preservation. Self-care is being mindful of the fact that taking care of yourself first helps you personally cope with stress and in turn, take care of everything else that you have to manage within your life.

Case in point… Mothers. Now I’m not a mother myself, but after coaching many of them, I do know that mothers experience this thing called “mom guilt” where they question everything they’re doing and if they even take two seconds away from their kiddos, then they feel overwhelmingly guilty for doing so. The interesting thing about this is that once they start making time for themselves, and eventually work through the guilt, they feel as if they are better mothers because of it. They have more life lessons to teach their little ones, their lives are less frantic, and they don’t feel as stressed as before because they know how to properly manage it.

Self-Care once you break it down is about stress management on a holistic level. Stress is one of the leading causes of most diseases and premature death, through self-care you’re able to find out what works in managing your stress levels to where you can be your best self, take care of those around you, and be on this earth for a long time doing it. What exactly is selfish about that?

The bottom line here is that self-care has a completely false narrative surrounding it that in order for us to grow individually, and collectively, we must get past it. Self-Care is not expensive and out of reach, one-size-fits-all, or selfish, it’s internal and a necessity within the world we live in today.

Self-Care also doesn’t come naturally to everyone and so you may need some help on where to get started… I encourage you to check out my clubhouse, Self-Care Central. It was designed to be your one-stop-shop for on-going self-care solutions and a place where you can find a community of others who put themselves first! Join us and let’s go on this adventure together!

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